Long time, no blog :)

Oh okay. It's been forever since i've done this. So much has happened!! Where to start?

Well, first off, we had to postpone the wedding. It sucked!!! I was so upset. But it was my fault, so I really couldn't complain. Let's just say anything that could possible go wrong did. Within 7 days, my life got so messed up. I never knew so many bad things could happen in such a short time! Anyway, we have moved on and things are looking up again. Thank goodness. I think we have set a tentative date for November 14th. It's just going to be family this time. I don't want to have to send out invites again. We decided to have just family for the wedding and then after the first of the year, we'll have a big party for everyone. Hopefully, nothing will go wrong this time!! Can I just say that I have the best, most supportive, most wonderful, most incredible man EVER!! I just love him to pieces!

I guess the next thing is I've joined weight watchers. I want to loose at least 60 lbs (80lbs is my ultimate goal). I have gained so much weight over these last few years, I can't stand it anymore! I started last Monday, and so far so good. I did my first weigh in this morning and I lost one pound!! Not a lot, but for me that's great!! I'm really excited. Pray that I keep on track! It's going to be hard.

That's about it. I'm kinda boring. But I guess that's a good thing.

Life and Such

Where to begin? Well, Hollice and I went to my family reunion last Saturday. I was very proud of my family. This was their first time meeting Hollice. Let me explain. My family is from two very little towns in North Carolina. They were raised a little differently. I was worried that they would be rude or mean to Hollice. But everyone was very nice. Hollice said he's never gotten that many hugs at one time before. I was so relieved. It was a long day, though. We got up at 430 am to drive to Durham and then left about 430 pm to go back home.
On a weird note, I found out that I'm adopted. Well, sorta. My mom had me really young and her and my grandparents were afraid that my real dad was going to steal me and take me to Germany. (His family was army and they were being transferred) So, in order to protect me, my grandparents adopted me. Not only for that reason, but to help my mom. She was still in high school and this gave them a chance to put me on their insurance and help pay for stuff. It's kinda odd. I mean, I don't care. I think it's really great that they would do that. But I'm an strange person who thinks strange things. Like, legally, my mom is also my sister. And my brother's are not only my brother's but my nephews. Wow. We really are from the south!
Anyway, the wedding plans are going smoothly. Only two more weeks!! We still have not found a place to live. We are looking hard, but nothing yet.
Oh, yeah. I got locked inside my car the other day. I know, I know. Only me. My window came off track and was upside down. And my driver's side door wouldn't open. I took it to the dealership today and they fixed it. Thank goodness. It's very annoying to get in and out the passenger side.

I will leave you with a pic of Hollice and my grandmother/mom.

Condo's and Flat tires

Wow. It's been a really long time since I wrote anything. Let's see...where to start? We found a condo. It is so perfect. 2 stories, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms. It's just what we've been looking for. We had an appointment to meet with the renters. I had just gotten on 664 when my tire blew. I was so upset. I had to leave her a message telling her that I needed to reschedule because I was stuck on the side of the road. She hasn't called me back yet. I am so disappointed. Hopefully she will call me back.

This weekend we went to my manager's wedding. It was so beautiful but HOT! She had the wedding and reception at the Mariner's Museum. The wedding was outside and there was no breeze.


This is picture of us at my house before the wedding. We had a lot of fun. It did get kind of annoying though. Everyone kept asking us "You're next. You nervous yet?" or " Are you taking notes?" We got so irritated when they wouldn't stop.

Hollice's aunt is going to make our wedding cake which is such a blessing!! She's only going to charge us $200!! That is so awesome.





This is me and Nicolas at Noah's surprise birthday party. It was so cute. Anyway, I think that's it for now! The countdown is on!!! Only a few more weeks until W day!!!!

Fun and Stressful

We will start with fun times. Hollice and I went to Water Country on Saturday. We had so much fun!!! Neither one of us have been in a loooonnnggg time, and we had a blast. We were like two little kids!
This is a picture of 4th of July weekend, while we were on our friends boat. This is Kamryn, my friends two year old. She fell in love with Hollice...or should I say her "Wallace". It was so cute. All day she kept s
aying "my Wallace". Sooo adorable!
I also got the ring bearer pillow and flower girl basket.












I think they will look so cute!!

Okay, on to stressful. We still have so much to do and not nearly enough time! I am getting so nervous that we won't finish everything in time. We still don't have a place to live, we haven't finished the invitations (mainly because someone won't give me stupid names and addresses....like I'm just supposed to know these things). I still need to get the wedding party gifts together, order the wedding favors, and so much more!! AAAHHHH! I really keep thinking that we should have eloped like we had originally planned. Hollice is so sweet. He just keeps telling me that everything will be fine, and we will get everything done. I just love him so much. Anyway, that's enough complaining. Have a great week!!

Almost done!!

Well, we are almost done with our invitations. YAY!! We mailed out most of them. We still have to do our families, then we are done! WOO HOO!! Thank goodness! I can't believe that the wedding is like two months away. There is still so much to do, but we are working on it. I know everything will be perfect. And I have the best fiancee in the world. He is so involved. No matter what I need, he is right there, doing whatever needs to be done. He is so wonderful! We got the ring bearer pillow and flower girl basket this weekend. They are so cute! They are both white and the pillow has a black ribbon around it with a bow in the front. The basket has two black bows on each side. Noah and Haleigh are going to look so adorable! I cannot wait until this wedding. It is so exciting!

This past weekend was July 4th. We had so much fun! We went out on our friends boat. Neither one of had ever been on a boat before, so we were kinda nervous. It rained for a little while, then cleared up. It was the best! It was so relaxing. We had so much fun, we are going back out with them next weekend! Anyway, I hope everyone had a wonderful and safe July 4th! Have a great week!!

Tendinitis

So, my wrist has been hurting for about a month now, and I finally went to the doctor. I have tendinitis. It sucks. It hurts so bad. But hopefully, with the brace they gave me, it will start to feel better. Okay, enough whining. So, this weekend is July 4th. I think we are going out on our friends boat Friday. Hang out on the water, watch the fire works. Should be fun! I can't wait! I love when I get long weekends. Hopefully, we can have a nice, relaxing weekend. Hollice and I really need to get our invitations in the mail. I guess we will do that this weekend.

In other news, my brother is thinking about joining the Coast Guard. I am so excited for him! He took the asvab on Tuesday, and hopefully will find out when he can go up to MEPS on Monday. I really hopes he does this. He needs it. He really needs to grow up and find direction in his life.

Hollice and I still have not found out about the townhouse we applied for. I am getting so frustrated...but at the same time, I am so nervous. It really hit me this week. I am really moving on, and getting married. It scared me to death! I know most people get cold feet, but I never thought I would. I really don't think it's "cold feet". I just think that it's a little staggering, thinking that I am really starting all over again. What if I'm a bad wife? What if I don't make him happy? I know that's crazy, but sometimes I can't help but get scared. Anyway, I know that I just need to put all these feelings to God, and everything will fall into place.

So, have a wonderful 4th to anyone who reads this!!

Impatientness

Hollice and I applied for a townhouse this weekend. It is really nice, and would be perfect for us. I called yesterday and they told me to call back today at 11am and they could tell me if we were approved or not. So I call, and of course, it's not ready. So the lady told me to call back at 2pm. I called at 230 and they weren't there! I left a message, but I am so impatient. I am so sick of apartment hunting! I just wish that they would call!!

Okay, I am done complaining now. But seriously, be praying for us to find a nice place to live. We only have 2 monthes left to look. Have a great week!!

Apartment Huntin

Well, not too much to report with me. Hollice and I went apartment hunting this weekend. It sucked because every place we went to was closed, go figure. We did go to one place, though, that we really liked. It's right off of Va Beach Blvd, which would be awesome, since Hollice works literally right across the street. We didn't get to see the apartment, but one of the tenants came down and talked to us. She was really nice. We were really surprised she talked to us, because let's face it, not many people these days would do something like that. It sounds like an great place, though I'm a little worried because it's expensive. Hollice and I are going to sit down this weekend and set up a budget to see if we could afford to live there and not struggle.

We also sat down this weekend and started addressing our invitations. Let me just say I CANNOT wait until that fun task is done. I also got me dress!! YAY!! So excited about that!!
Anyway, that's about all for now! Have a blessed week!!

So Sleepy!

I am so sleepy but we are getting an alarm put in our house and he's still here. Which means no sleep until they are done setting off the alarm. Fun Stuff. I don't really have much to report. Things are still just like yesterday, but since I'm awake I figured I could ramble on for a while.

It's really wonderful when things can get put into perspective. I have a friend that I work with who is going through a really tough time in her marriage. She tells me all the time how lucky I am to have found a "good one". I tell her that it was completely by accident that Hollice and I got together. I've really been thinking about that lately. How did I manage to get such a wonderful man? He is so perfect for me in so many ways. I look back on all the bad relationships that I've had, and just thank God that he sent Hollice to me. I really think that I had to go through all the bad relationships to really be able to appreciate Hollice when he came into my life. I think that had I not learned the hard way, I would never have realized what a great thing I have.
I think about my friend all the time. Her marriage is a lot like my marriage to LaMar. Her husband is a compulsive liar, just like LaMar. I really feel for her, because she has children. I can't imagine what that must be like. To know that the father of your child wants nothing to do with her. How sad. I never understand how people can be like that. How can you not want to know your child.
Okay, enough of the brooding, depressing talk. On to happier subjects. Like I had started saying. When I really think about it, I know it's not an accident we ended up together. He is my angel. He was sent to me when I needed someone the most. And I was his when he needed someone. And in time, when we were both at a point in our lives where we could handle it, we realized that we needed to be with each other. I know it sounds ridicules and corny, but thats what I think. He was there for me when my marriage was falling apart. He was the only person I had at the time. And when he was sick, and in the hospital, I was there for him. I really am so lucky to fall in love with my best friend.
I've really been thinking a lot lately about us, and our future together. I am so excited to get the kittens. I LOVE animals so much! But on a more serious level, I've really been pondering what lies ahead for us. I know I want to finish school, and be a nurse. And I know that we really don't want to have children. We want to be able to travel and go to concerts and not have to worry about any little ones. But then I look at my friends that have children. I watch Hollice with them. He is so sweet with children. He would make the perfect father. And in that perfect moment, watching him hold a kid, I almost, for a second, wonder what it would be like for us. I look at Matt and Amanda, with their beautiful daughter, and think about what it would be like.
When I really think about it, I just don't know. In those perfect moments, I want to have children with Hollice. But then reality hits, and I don't want the 3am feedings, or the changing of the diapers, and the formula, and putting the kid in school and all that jazz. And then I know I really don't want kids. But, what if I am 45 years old, without children. Will I regret my decision? Will he? Do I want to have kids just to see what it would be like, is that why I feel like this? Or, do I really want them? I know that it's not a big deal really because in the end, we will figure it out together. I really don't want to be pregnant, but when I really think about it, I'm just scared. I'm a wimp, and I don't want to deal with the nine months of hell. And then the birth, oh please don't even get me started on that. I just keep thinking about how beautiful our children would be. Anyway, don't get your hopes up, I doubt it will ever happen. Well, I think that they are done playing with the stupid alarm, so it's off to bed for me. Have a great week, everyone.

Our new addition!!!

Sorry to get your hopes up but it's not what you think. Hollice and I are going to be the proud parents of twins.....Okay brothers. We are going to get two brother kittens!! Well, one for sure and possibly his brother or sister. We are going to name one George. If we get his brother we are going to name him Jinx. If we get his sister we are going to name her Foxy. I am sooo excited!! Let me just say that my future husband is the BEST!! I know that he didn't want to have cats, but he saw the look on my face when I held George and said that we could get him. Today he said that we could get him a friend to play with!!
The kittens are my friend Patrices, and they were born 3 weeks ago. They still have another month before anyone can take them, which gives us perfect timing to find a place and get moved in! Here are some pictures!










In other news, we got our invitations, we just need to take them to Kinko's to have them printed up. We also solved the table favor problem. We are going to order bookmarks to put on the tables as favors. It will have a special saying and a Thank you from us on them. I think that it will be a really neat gift. Also we finally decided on a guest book. I found a group of eight books at Hallmark that we are going to use. Each book has individual pages for everyone to not only sign, but write us a special message. We thought that was really unique.

Thats about all right now! Have a great week everyone!!

Help please!

Okay, so as everyone knows, Hollice and I are planning our wedding. We are also paying for everything. We want to make it as beautiful and cost-effective as possible. The way we are looking at it, we would rather have a nice place to live afterward and a great honeymoon than an expensive wedding. We have the rest of our lives together, the wedding is just one day. Now, don't get me wrong, it will be wonderful; we just don't want to go broke.

We are just going to have the wedding at our church. The church itself is gorgeous. I'm not going to any decorations there. Maybe just bows on the ends of the pews. The reception is going to be in the fellowship hall. We are going to grill out hamburgers and hotdogs, with chips and fruit. This is more us anyway.

My question for everyone is this: I want to decorate the fellowship hall. Maybe not elaboratly, but something nice. I am going to get table cloths for all the tables. Hollice and I are going to make CD's for little gifts. I want to put something on the tables as decorations and do a little something else for little favors. I want something different and unusual, because lets face it, Hollice and I are a little unusual ourselves. Does anyone have any ideas of what we could do? (We are also putting out little bottles of bubbles)

I want something that reflects summer, since we are getting married in August. I was thinking maybe little water guns (since it will be hot), or little candle holders and painting something cute on them. But I just don't know!! Please help anyone!! Any ideas are wonderful and would help out alot! Thank you in advance.

In other wedding news, we have started getting things together. We've gotten some of our attendents gifts. (Sorry I can't say what we are doing because our attendents may read this ;}) I got Hollice's band. The band he picked out is so nice. It's black steel with silver crosses around it. We got his finger measured about two monthes ago. The lady of course told us the wrong size. She said he wears a size 10. So, Saturday while Hollice was helping my dad build steps, I went and bought his band. He tried it on when I got home, and of course it doesn't fit. He can get it on but it's tight. We had to go back today and have them order a size 11. They said it should come back in 4 weeks. Pray for us that it will come back in time.

The biggest problem we are having is finding a place to live. We really want to buy a house, so I am going to call a realitor tomorrow. The lady I'm going to call goes to our church, so hopefully she can help us. Please pray for us to find something. If we can't buy a house, we want to rent one. We really want our own space. I know we will find just what we are supposed to have. I'm just impatient. We don't have that much longer until the wedding, and I really want to be able to move in before the wedding so everything can be set up before we leave on our honeymoon.

I never know how to end these blogs, so I'll just say thanks again in advance for any ideas you can give me about the decorations and favors. Have a wonderfully blessed week!!

Blah Blah Blah

It has been an interesting week at work. I run two coumadin clinics, one at our Riverside office and the other at our Denbigh office. (Coumadin is a blood thinner. People who take it must be monitered closely.) We recently got a new software to help us moniter. Riverside started Monday, and boy was it crazy. We do finger sticks every ten minutes, and since none of our nurses got training, it took forever!! I started at Denbigh on Wednesday and it went a little more smooth. They said when we were training with it that the first 30 days was going to be horrible, but after that we would love it. I hope he's right, because right now it's crappy. The whole reason for changing the software was to make it move faster, but I think it's actually hindering us. But, I got a really great compliament from my clinical director, so it's worth it, I guess. It's nice that they put so much trust in me even though I'm one of the newest M.A's.

On another subject, Hollice and I made all of our dinner reservations for Disney World. I am sooo excited!! I really think I'm more excited about the honeymoon than I am for the actual wedding. There is still so much to do! I don't know how we are going to get all of it done in time. I'm trying in vain to loose a little weight so I can look good in my dress. I never really thought about it, as I'm happy the way I am, until a very not nice patient asked when I was due. This upset me greatly and now feel like I need to loose a whole lot of weight. Hollice says I'm crazy, but I think I need to now. Oh, well, I guess we shall see how well that goes. Anyway, thanks for listening to me ramble on.

Fun Times

I had the best weekend ever!! Hollice took me to the zoo. I know it sounds silly but i've never been before. I was like a little kid. It was awesome!! We also went to the Botanical Gardens. If you've never been, I highly recommend it. It's the perfect place for a date. It's quiet and romantic and beautiful! Here are some pictures (if I can figure out how to post them :})

Random Thoughts

I'm trying really hard to be a better person. I was never a church-goer, or a pray'er, but I am trying more and more. I go to church pretty regular, and I've recently started praying more. I am really trying to be a better person. But sometimes it is so hard. Especially when you have people in your life that try to bring you down and bring out the worst in you. You know what I really hate? I hate when those people promise you something, and then dodges you when you go to collect. I know that I should have expected it, but I always believe the best in people. I do this even when I know better. And I know that these types of people are put in my life to test me, to see what I do. And usually, I fail the test. I get angry and usually fly off the handle. But this time I think I passed. I have a girl that I work with who always tells me "God doesn't like ugly". She's says this to me all the time (nt necessarily to me, but in general depending on the conversation). And my mother in law tells me all the time to pray. Pray about whatever I need an answer to.Normally I don't listen. But lately, I've really been thinking about this statement. I put the two thoughts together and really pondered them. I will get back to this thought in just a second.

I don't know how many people know this, and I don't really talk about it alot. But I have an exhusband. To complicate things just a little more (because I can never do anything the easy way), I am engaged to his brother. Please don't judge me too harshly. I never cheated my Lamar, I never thought about his brother like that until we were over. His brother and I were always close, I guess you could say best friends. I never really thought about him like that until he got sick. Then I realized that I didn't want to live my life without him in it. I realized that I loved him more that I've ever loved anyone else. Lamar never really loved me, he just wanted someone to control. Someone to take care of him, but stupid enough to let him do whatever he wanted. But anyway, Lamar is really horrible to everyone in his family. He doesn't talk to really any of them. For a long time, I felt guilty. I thought he didn't talk to his brother because of me. Now I realize that it has nothing to do with me. Lamar is just a jerk, who only cares about himself. Hollice and I have really be discussing whether or not we want to invite him to the wedding. Lamar has a new fiancee as well, and we both feel that they might do or say something stupid to ruin our day. We talked to Hollice's parents to find out their opinion on the subject. And as I suspected, they told me to pray about it.

Now, back to my original thought. Since Mom said that to me, I've really been pondering it. My first reaction to Lamar is always to...well, basically cuss him out. But maybe this is the wrong thing. I always thought that a part of me would always love him. But I realize that I feel nothing towards him. Sometimes he makes me angry, espicially when he is indifferent or a jerk to Hollice or his parents. Besides that, I feel nothing. Is this a bad thing? I don't really think so. I think that I have finally gotten over everything bad.

I really think that I know how I came to this peace. I started praying about it about a week ago. I asked the Lord to show me what I need to do. I asked for the Lord to point me in the direction that He wanted me to go in, and show me what He wanted for me. ( I also asked him to speak loud b/c I didn't want to miss any signs that He might be trying to give me :0}) I woke up this morning, feeling peaceful. I know it sounds crazy, but I realized that I have the strength to be the bigger person.

Anyway, I know this has been a long story, but I really feel like I am on the right track for the first time in my life, and am at peace with everything in my past. Yay for me!!

So Happy

Well, I've never done this before, but I figured I'd try it out. I am so excited. I realized today that I have the best fiancee ever!! I mean, i've always known that, but it hit me today just how incredible he is. He is, by far, the best friend i've ever had. He is sweet, and unselfish, and perfect in every way. (Okay, so I know he's not perfect, but he's close.)

Hollice and I are planning on getting married in 130 days (you'd never be able to guess that I'm excited, huh? Not like I'm counting down or anything.) We don't really have lot of time to get things planned. The hardest part is finding a place to live. We've been looking, but so far, nothing. I think that we are going to try to buy a house. With all the stress of putting together our wedding, we decided to put more expense on ourselves by going to Disney World for our honeymoon. We got a really great deal, so it won't be too bad. Today, the love of my life called and put the down payment on the package! He is so wonderful.

I don't think I've ever been this excited about anything. The more I think about it, the more I can't wait to be his wife. He has always been so good to me. He even bought me a heart shaped engagement ring because he knows how much I love hearts. Hollice makes me want to be a better person. No one in my life has ever believed in me as much as he does. He makes me want more out of life. I can't wait to be Mrs. Hollice Wiggins II. I can't wait to take care of him, and cook for him, and just spend forever with him.

Okay, I guess this has been mushy enough. I am just in amazment that he chose me. I am the luckiest girl in the world. I love him so much.